American Airlines and U.S. Airways want to merge. Will that mean the passengers have to give the crew peanuts?

Pedometer app on my cell has an attitude. It offers random support. “I seen turtles move more laying on their backs, Do you have an excess baggage ticket?” and today “It isn’t that tough. Left foot, right foot, left foot.”

Another day in Sunday School and we were asked the meaning of Easter. I raised my hand and explained – Easter is when Jesus woke from the dead, rolled that big ol’ rock from his cave, stepped into the sunlight, and if’n He saw His shadow….we had 4 more weeks of winter.

Kicked out of Sunday School in 4th grade for asking kids if they knew “Why Jesus did not like Easter? Because the jelly beans keep falling through the holes in his hands.”

I gave up sex for Lent – and now my navel is full of it.