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Good Vibrations

February 28, 2005

The name of the airline has been changed to protect the innocent. But, flight attendants Debb and Brenda are on their own, and still welcome in my home. Debb and her hubby are long-time friends of mine, and Nubble’s. He plays with their labs and rottie. I had not met Brenda before, and if there is a God in Heaven or at least in the airline flight paths – I won’t be on one of her assigned flights anytime soon after this is published.

NubbleThe airline, and for grins I wish it were Virgin Airways, gives their crews a dinner and lodging allowance. Debb calls when she has a lay-over in Phoenix and she and one of the other attendants then stay at my place. They get my bed, I take the couch, and Nubble travels between both rooms. We use half the fee to go out on the town, split the other half, and buy Nubble a new toy or treat just to balance things out.

Three of us had been hunkered down for the night after doing minor brain-cell damage at Pischke’s Paradise in Scottsdale, while our fourth being Nubble was making his nightly rounds to protect and serve.We all finally drifted into slumberland until Debb woke in the night and let out a mild shriek as her feet touched the ground on the way to the restroom.I grabbed a blanket and stumbled, around my over-eager cattle herder, to find both gals staring at the floor.

It was littered with miniscule bits of tan and beige plastic. By miniscule I mean nothing bigger than an eighth of an inch, which luckily vacuumed up fairly easily. So making like the butler at 3 in the morning, I rechecked the alarm clock so we could catch The Breakfast Club before dropping them at Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix, then bid Debb and Brenda night once again, and crawled back onto my couch.

Alarms are irritating enough for waking so I had The Beach Boys tape all ready to greet us. However, Brenda’s scream at daybreak was way past that as I ran with blanket and bat this time, to find Debb crying in the fetus position and Brenda in the center of the room, brandishing a hair curler while speaking incoherently, accented by Nubble’s barking. Closer inspection revealed Debb was weeping tears of laughter and dangerously close to wetting the bed. Nubble just continued with his yips, yaps and yelps.

Debb finally reached for the copper colored curler, and flipped the switch while her friend still held it. The metal core sprang to life, dancing on its own in a sensual and kinky cross between the hula hoop and the watusi as Nubble barked and Brenda babbled. “I didn’t use it. I mean I didn’t use it last night. I mean – it was in my suitcase. I mean it was still in my suitcase. I mean he took it and put it back in my suitcase. He did it!” she pointed.

I looked at Nubble, then – blame the fact I have no sisters, took a few seconds to realize Brenda had naturally curly hair and it was not a hair curling iron she was holding that still boogied in her trembling hand. While I had long ago solved the mystery of what was in Stretch Armstrong, Nubble had revealed what was under the once flesh toned camouflage cover to Brenda’s battery powered traveling companion

Though not trained in searching suitcases for bombs, Nubble had dropped a bomb in what he had found and chewed to miniscule bits during the night. But hey – he did put the toy away once done. And about that time, the harmonic sounds of Al Jardine and The Beach Boys began to fill my home. Looked like not only Nubble would be getting a brand new toy that day. Good, good, good – Good Vibrations!

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